Getting Ready To Breastfeed When the Next One Comes Along....
by: Kimberly Otis
Mother of Branson, Braedon, and Britton and proud member of  La Leche League.

I was still nursing my first baby when I became pregnant with my second, and still nursing my second baby when I became pregnant with my third.  So in total, I have been pregnant and/or breastfeeding for over eight years.

I should have you know that I was going to give breastfeeding a try. Like so many other mothers, I felt that it was the right and natural thing to do, so I never took any extra classes for it or sought out any support - what could be so hard about sticking a baby on your breast?  With my first baby, it was the first few weeks that could have been so hard.  In fact, it might have been around the first few months.  We worked hard to make breastfeeding work and looking back, I cannot imagine trying something so important without taking a class or talking to other mothers who had successfully breastfed.  What was I thinking?  Around the time my son was four months old, we were breastfeeding pros, however, I was feeling isolated and honestly, I was feeling like my parenting practices, what I did intuitively, were really not all that in keeping with my family and friends.  I would breastfeed my son on demand - anytime and anyplace, I wore him in a sling or he was in my arms most hours of the day and night, and he slept with me.  I had no idea there was a world of these “other women” out there who were doing the same things I was, but it all felt right to me, regardless of the pressures from everyone to do things differently.  At four months, we attended our first La Leche League meeting and much to my surprise, there were other mothers there doing what felt right to them too!  It was like finding the place where we were suddenly no longer the minority, but treated as though we were normal and it was just lovely! 

My son and I nurse to the momentous first year, and just keep on going.  He nurses everywhere, discretely, comfortably and happily. We never use any sort of tent or drape or anything, just a little practice with regular clothes in the mirror and before too long we are on our way out the door!

It is about this time that I become pregnant with my second child and the dread sets in.  While  in many ways I am excited and so blessed by this little baby growing inside of me, I am feeling guilt ridden because I've made another baby that will take over some of my affection, my time, my life, and terrified at the entire prospect, including, but not limited to, labor and delivery once again!  Not to mention that this new baby makes me vomit, uncontrollably all - day - long.  Not morning sickness, it is more like I am going to die from puking all day sickness.  In fact my son pretends to throw up in the toilet because it is something he sees regularly and he is now toddler, mimicking my every move.  And the question rings on... How in the world am I ever going to love this baby the way that I love my firstborn?  My oldest is the love of my life, and I am absolutely convinced that I will love him far more, treat him much differently and be sure that he knows, for all eternity, that he is the true keeper of my heart.

As I reach the fifth month of pregnancy, my son, now just two years old, self weans while on vacation. I hardly notice until many days later when I realize he has not asked to nurse.  I could not have planned a more perfect weaning.  He was ready, I was ready, it was gradual and peaceful - no muss, no fuss.  As my pregnancy progresses, I continue to worry, every day, that I am not going to love this baby like I love my son.  There is no way I could.  My heart is full already and I cannot for one minute imagine that we will ever share that love with another person.

Low and behold, baby number two arrives.  I knew it was going to happen, but could hardly believe it when it did!  He was scrumptious and I can honestly tell you, it was love at first sight.  No one could have convinced me it would happen, but my heart did in fact double in size.  It was in no way a split and my love for my first did not diminish in any way.  It only grew and grew to envelope our new little man on the scene.   I knew everything about breastfeeding (or so I thought).  This new baby on the other hand, had a mind of his own.  If there was ever a time that I was going to throw in the towel and quit breastfeeding, it was then.  I was sore, blistered, achy, and just plain miserable.  I was putting actual ice packs into my bra to help with the engorgement.  I was used to nursing a toddler at this point, and nursing this tiny little baby was an altogether different scenario.  It was one of those lessons about the kids that I did not realize I was learning quite so quickly.  They are, and will forever be, entirely different people.

So back to basics - I have to check my positioning, get a good latch, support the baby, support the breast, hold the baby high and tight onto my body, tummy to tummy, baby’s ear, shoulder and hip all in a line.  Got it, and soon we got it together.  Now the only other thing that I had to deal with was the first precocious little boy who still wanted all of my attention.  One of the best pieces of advice I have ever gotten from another mother with older children was to set up a “nursing station”.  At the nursing station, I had a big basket and in the basket were several things.  Always a few bottles of water for me and some snacks for him - goldfish, granola, peanut butter crackers, apples, whatever.  And a house phone, because anyone who has a child knows that the minute you sit down to nurse, the phone will ring.  And then there were activities for my son - his favorite books, puzzles, stickers, crayons, Playdoh, etc. and the only time he could use those things was while I was nursing his brother.  It made it all a little more exciting to him that he could not access it all the time, and instead had to wait until he could use his special things.  We would do these things together - we read all the time, we filled books with stickers practicing letter sounds and finding stickers that made the sound.  We made snakes and snowmen with Playdoh, we colored masterpieces and wrote stories, all the while I was nursing his brother.  We would show the baby his creations and read the baby the stories, but it was really a very special time for my first son to have my attention.  We used this basket without fail at least four or five times a day.  Now when the “Mother of the Year Basket of Goodness” was not what he was into, I relied heavily on carefully selected DVD’s.  I do not think I could have made it through the first months of baby #2 without the Leap Frog movies, Baby Einstein, Elmo’s World videos or the Rescue Heroes keeping my son happy (for sometimes far more time than I would like to admit).  I bought the sign language videos and foreign language videos.  We would take out topical films from the library about dinosaurs or volcanoes or horses or sea creatures.  We signed up for little tyke soccer and swim lessons.  All of these things were done with baby brother in the sling or on the breast, and usually both at the same time.  Having the baby be so portable was essential to my survival, and I found babywearing to be a gift to all of us.  It allowed me to go anywhere with my hands free to hold the hand of my toddler, throw a ball, or push a swing all the while meeting the needs of my baby.  And never underestimate the usefulness of a baby gate to block off areas of your home when you simply want to sit and nurse, as opposed to running interference while nursing.  And seriously, some ice cream bribery never hurt anybody.

While it felt like nothing could duplicate the love that I felt for my first son, it did, even though it was an entirely different experience with my second - same love, different person.  And it has since done it again with the arrival of my precious baby girl.  The transitions that they make each day (who am I kidding, each moment!!); one being especially naughty and defiant and the other being sweet and agreeable, has taught me another important lesson.  Just as soon as you think you have them figured out, they switch it all up on you again.  And that baby girl...oh brother!  She is another story altogether!